Monday, June 16, 2008

More on Catholicism

So I was talking about my "take what you like, leave the rest" viewpoint on Catholicism. I am actually very religious; I read the Bible and various books about the saints and Mary almost daily. I've been attending daily mass almost, well, daily since our HC (heartbreaking choice). It makes me feel better.

(I started off my prayers in church before mass the same way I always do [see the first post], with the added thanksgiving for a safe plane ride on Sunday for DH, who is traveling on business.)

The things that I don't necessarily subscribe to are the church's teachings on social issues, like homosexuality, contraception, and, obviously, abortion. I've always been quietly pro-choice, never vocal to anyone in my beliefs. Let's be honest: It's a divisive issue, and I don't want to get in an argument about it nor do I want to feel like I have to defend myself. And, although I support a woman's right to choose, I always thought it would never, ever be my choice. I was very wrong. Getting a catastrophic prenatal diagnosis changed all of that.

I've struggled with my choice and whether I should seek forgiveness from the priest (participate in confession) and, through the sacrament, God. I've only been to confession once, and that was so I could have first communion and confirmation. I haven't been back since. DH has probably been to confession as many times as I have, and he was raised Catholic! (Okay, that's an exaggeration, but you get the idea -- he never goes.) Every mass starts off with a moment where we ask God to forgive our sins, and in my own personal conversations with God, I've asked for forgiveness. In my mind, I've demonstrated remorse, so I don't know why I've suddenly become "Catholic" enough to want to participate in confession, when I completely flaunt other teachings of the church. Where has this "Catholic guilt" suddenly come from? The homily today at morning mass was about confession, in a sense, so I still remain intrigued by the idea of "confessing" my HC. The thing is, it was the right thing to do; I don't think I've sinned in that sense. As someone wrote on a grief board I visit for others who've made HCs: I am a good person who had no good choices. That's all I regret, that I had to make the decision, not the one that I made. I can be proud of the fact that I chose to spare my child a lifetime, if he even got that, of suffering and pain. I look at it like there was a DNR (do not resuscitate) on my child, just like there was on DH's uncle.

I don't know . . . the jury's still out.

In any case, today was a good day. Even though DH is gone for the next two weeks on business, the kids and I had a great day. DS wasn't even acting depressed (like he normally does) that DH was gone. We did a video iChat tonight before I started writing this post. Having the ability to actually talk face to face, albeit via computer, is a great thing!


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