The Plan in Action

I forgot to make this posting last week . . . here's how I put it on support site:

"On my way to Los Angeles International Airport today (LAX) to pick up BIL, I snapped this shot. Okay: (1) I know we're not supposed to talk on our cellphones while driving in California now, but they never said anything about snapping photos; (2) It was a little tricky and the driver was probably like, "Why is this flash going off in the car behind me?" -- it was my Canon, not my cell phone -- but OH WELL; (3) I couldn't drive AND flip the bird AND take the picture at the same time . . . SO I took the picture, and then I worked a little Photoshop magic tonight by taking the finger out of my first picture and putting it onto the new picture of the car and its bumper stickers. Also, I added a PINK arrow commenting on one of the stickers."

And to whomever the anonymous poster was before who told me that pink duct tape was vandalism: I know. That's why I personally will not use it. Ultimately, I am a total rule follower personality type and don't want to break the law. I carry it symbolically in my car, and I find flipping off the sticker and taking a picture more expedient anyway. It was just an idea that hurting women came up with, and how we each decide to carry though with The Plan is up us.

The Plan

Well . . . I haven't had a chance to carry it out! This is disappointing. I've been hawkish, looking for pro-life propaganda that I can cover up with pink duct tape and take a picture of, or just flip the bird at and take a picture of my bird finger in front of the propaganda. (See excerpt from previous post below for a description of The Plan.)

We also devised a little game for ourselves. One of the things that has been very painful for us to deal with -- other than seeing pregnant women everywhere, and other than seeing little babies in strollers -- is seeing Pro-Life stickers on cars. None of us made our decisions callously, so seeing stickers on cars that lumps us in with others who made abortions for other reasons, is hard. We decided we will do one of two things when we see such stickers: (1) Take a picture of our finger flipping off the sticker and post it to our online support site in a thread that others can add to [with their own pictures]; or (2) Cover up the sticker with pink duct tape [on sale at Joann's for $4.99] and take a picture of it to post to said site.

I went out and bought my pink duct tape yesterday; my camera has been in my purse/bag for about two days. I am on the lookout. Who will post first? I saw one sticker as W was driving along yesterday (he is home from Army) but, as we were moving, I was unable to carry out our plan. My eyes are peeled everywhere I go.

I guess drivers in The OC are very vain about their cars (yeah, okay, that includes me) and don't want to put anything on their car, much less inflamatory stickers. So, instead, I decided to "flip the bird" at some offending political appeal DH got in the mail this week. He was supposed to sign it and send it in to our state senators and our state representative, all of whom are Democrats. The senators in particular are very pro-choice. Whatever. Here's my pic:




I posted the pic and a description of "the game" to my Heartbreaking Choice support board in the Pro-Choice forum. We'll see what kind of feedback it gets.

I met some friends and we came up with a plan

So I belong to this support group online of other (mostly) moms who have had to make a Heartbreaking Choice like I did. It is an AMAZING site and it has been helpful ever since we got our poor prenatal diagnosis. However, I know the value of "real life" support groups, so that was one of the first things I had on my list of things to do upon recovery from my procedure. I asked a nurse that was helping me for the gestational diabetes I developed during the pregnancy to have a social worker friend call me with a list of groups through our hospital. She gave me the name of one, which I looked forward to attending. I showed up at the appointed date and time, only to find it had been disbanded for lack of a facilitator. I was, to say the least, devastated. I had really gotten my hopes up that I would be able to meet other people like me in my same situation; who knew exactly how I felt; and who could possibly give me some experience, strength, and hope until the next time the group met again. That I wouldn't be able to meet these people deflated me. I cried in the car on the way home. I love my online circle of women, but . . . I just knew there were people out there in my area who had had the experience I was seeking.

So I went online to the group, and I posted this:

dulcemija wrote:

---

So it has been about a week and a half since our HC. I was set to attend a grief support group in my area tonight, only I showed up and was not able to find it. Upon asking one of the people in the lobby where it was, I was told it hasn't met for many weeks because they don't have a facilitator.

I love this board, but I find it helpful to meet with people in person, too. I was bummed that it wasn't available and that alone made me start crying on the way home.

Anyone know of a support group in the Orange County, CA area?

Thanks for letting me vent.

Luckily, there were women who responded to my post and who were willing to make a date with me to meet in person.

And we met on Sunday!

Just to be able to talk to other women, without having to explain anything, without having to wonder if I can be totally honest or if I have to hold back for fear of offending someone, was a MIRACLE. When I said something, one or all would nod their heads with agreement, or add in their two cents' worth of experience. It was fantastic. We met for about two and a half hours; I was on a high as I drove home. I felt SO good. We agreed we would like to meet again, perhaps in September, and we will keep in touch in the meantime.

We also devised a little game for ourselves. One of the things that has been very painful for us to deal with -- other than seeing pregnant women everywhere, and other than seeing little babies in strollers -- is seeing Pro-Life stickers on cars. None of us made our decisions callously, so seeing stickers on cars that lumps us in with others who made abortions for other reasons, is hard. We decided we will do one of two things when we see such stickers: (1) Take a picture of our finger flipping off the sticker and post it to our online support site in a thread that others can add to [with their own pictures]; or (2) Cover up the sticker with pink duct tape [on sale at Joann's for $4.99] and take a picture of it to post to said site.

I went out and bought my pink duct tape yesterday; my camera has been in my purse/bag for about two days. I am on the lookout. Who will post first? I saw one sticker as DH was driving along yesterday (he is home from business) but, as we were moving, I was unable to carry out our plan. My eyes are peeled everywhere I go.

More later . . .